You know what I hate? Having to fix the office copier. I swear, if Thom has to make any more copies of body parts, I'm going to get angry. And you won't like Robert when he's angry, folks. Now let's see, where's that little switch...GAH!! I just pricked my finger. No, must maintain...must...GRAAHAAAR!!! Hulk smash! Hulk take copy of John's Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy and throw it across the room! Now I'm really angry! And it's this kind of destructive chaos that inhibits the new Hulk game The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, the latest attempt to give the big green guy some justice in a video game (and I think it's deserving, really). So now let me just see if I can grip the controller in my big green hands without smashing it to bits. Everyone in the office saw what I did with our much cherished copy of Hello Kitty: Roller Rescue, so Hulk gotta be gentle. Ahh, there we go.

The game begins by launching us into a story crafted by Paul Jenkins (legendary Hulk comic writer) and Byran Hitch. It tells the simple tale of how Bruce Banner wants to be rid of his Hulk-like powers, all while the General and a few familiar faces attempt to hunt him down just for his raw energy and brute strength. The story's really just there to hang action set pieces on, it really could've been put together with more twists than it had. But at least it's not laughably bad like, say, a script of the old TV show.

Anyway, the development team behindThe Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, the folks at Radical Entertainment, are geniuses. Instead of just giving us the Hulk and giving him simple powers, they emphasize greatly on gameplay and give us the option to do with Hulk what we were meant to do- trash the living hell out of everything. Hulk comes equipped with all sorts of strong moves, such as being able to leap sky high with enough charge, throw around objects ranging from trucks to rocks to destroyed tanks and helicopters, launch punches and grab attacks, and even climb or (my personal favorite) run up the sides of buildings and structures to get to higher levels. These are just basic moves, too.

A really remarkable part of Ultimate Destruction is how much Hulk can expand his powers. He can actually pick up objects in specific areas and take part in weaponization, where he breaks down the components of the object quickly and applies them for a secondary use. For instance, he can grab a missile launcher, break it down, and throw about heat-seekers with ease. He can also snag a car and turn it into a pair of temporary boxing gloves, for added destruction. As for Hulk himself, he can also "purchase" new moves with points picked up during each mission, allowing him to get an array of stellar attacks, ranging from "flicking" an opponent that he grabs with his little finger to launching a Macho Man Randy Savage-styled elbow into a pile of cars.

And this is all before he picks up on Critical Mass. During the game, Hulk will grab green and yellow orbs that allow him to maintain his power levels, and once the green meter reaches its maximum effect, he'll reach Critical Mass, where his power will really take off and he's able to trash all sorts of items in a level, including (but not limited to) large buildings. It takes a while to adjust to the Critical Mass powers, but, really, it adds up to wondrous stress relief and wraps up on the game's excelled gameplay system.

The game supplies a number of missions to complete, including Story Mode (which allows you to move on further in the game's somewhat average story) and Challenge Missions (which give you different tasks to complete for high points, from throwing cars onto a building to running around marathon-style across a grid). As you complete each mission, you'll unlock a ton of new goodies, including comic book covers, behind-the-scenes documentaries, and new skins and costumes to play around with. This adds to the replayability, but, really, it had tons of if as is. You can't stand there and tell me in my Hulkened form that you're going to grow bored with destroying helicopters with thrown telephone poles. It's like javelin throws gone wild, baby!

The best part of the game comes in the form of the opposition. The way that the enemies become stronger as you grow madder and madder is a nice touch. First you'll face off against typical police forces, which can be easily squashed. But then military support comes into play, with helicopters, missile launchers, tanks, and soldiers all over the place. As you progress, you'll then enter some impressive boss battles, ranging from a military robot ready to thrash you to plenty of familiar foes, many from the comic book. (I won't spoil it- I already took a beating for revealing one of the enemies in the forums and it made me annoyingly angry.) The boss battles are outstanding and require a bit more strategy than you might expect.

As far as presentation, it's not entirely easy being green. The graphics maintain a fantastic pace with the destruction, complete with explosions, a good camera system, and some great animation on the Hulk himself, especially when he's running and needs to change direction. However, the environments themselves, while massive, are limited to "city" and "desert". There's no real change of pace, aside from the church you visit between levels to save your game and jump back to one of the two areas. It would've kicked some real ass to see the likes of "space station" or "Tokyo" somewhere in the mix, just for the hell of it. But at least the areas featured here are massive and loaded with all sorts of destroyable terrain just asking to be squashed.

As far as audio, the game delivers like a pizza man on game day. The soundtrack, put together by Bill Brown, delivers the epic-scale sounds that Hulk fans can expect, and most of the sound effects are right on cue, complete with the way the little "clinks" come into play when you yank a telephone pole out of the ground or throw a cab down the street. As far as voiceover work, it's somewhat mixed. There's some recognizable talent here, including Ron Perlman, whose resume is looking more impressive by the day with his work in Halo 2 and Hellboy, but most of the dialogue seems a bit drab, and thus reads almost like it's strictly coming off script, with barely any emotion. Fortunately, most of the cinemas can be skipped to go right into the action.

There is one final note here, and that's the fact that the game eventually runs into a little repetition. Sure, it's got chaos by the handfuls and all sorts of unlockable goodies, but I'm sure there will be some of you who grow a bit bored with the nature of it all, especially since the game doesn't have any sort of two-player competitive mode with different enemies or even a She-Hulk. (Hey, She-Hulks exist, okay?) But those who are impressed by the nature of the game will no doubt find longevity, especially in the gameplay itself. You just have to look.

OK, my green hands are starting to get itchy and Bryan stole the hand lotion so let me sum this up and get back to normal. The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction is by far one of the more impressive superhero-based games to be released on the market, merely for the fact that it doesn't just slap the big guy on a box and make a game around him. Instead, the game IS him, allowing you to build an incredible arsenal of moves as you trash the world around you. The way it progresses with bosses and extras is a bonus treat that all fans will no doubt gnaw on with great pride. Ultimate Destruction is a smash! It is! It...oh, wait, I'm de-hulking...GAHARRRR!

Whoa, what the hell just happened? And why is my shirt torn?

Our Final ScoreGood

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