Greetings. I...am...N...B...A Live. And I...am...a robot. Do you know...where I can find...Sarah Connor? Does not compute! Does not compute!

The machines have taken over EA's NBA Live 07! Programmed onto the game disc are hundreds of Terminator-style robots that have been skinned to look like popular NBA superstars such as Tracy McGrady, Dwayne Wade, and even Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Seriously, I haven't seen a collection of people this lifeless since watching Dawn of the Dead. The only difference is, unlike the zombies in George Romero's classic film, NBA Live's players aren't oozing blood and mindlessly shambling into an escalator. Nope, this year's version of the #1 selling hoops franchise is fairly decent. It's just not on par with 2K Sports' NBA 2K7. Not even close.

Let's start with emotions, or lack thereof. Emotion was a huge problem in NBA Live 06 and it's the same issue with this year's game. The players just walk around like zombies. Drain a last second three...no emotion. Dunk over Shaq...eyes are glazed over. Everyone's in a trance, some voodoo-like state that is so unlike the NBA, it's ridiculous. I love the player intros. They show guys chest bumping and laughing, but once the game starts everyone reverts to being as interesting as a sack of potatoes. They're all drones, serving their equally boring god of a programmer.

The presentation is another WTF. The soundtrack is outstanding. It's so much better than 2K7's that 2K Sports should be ashamed of itself. I'm also fond of the All-Star weekend festivities (complete with fireworks), but there's no halftime or post game show to speak of, and Marv Albert and Steve Kerr (while exhibiting signs of brilliance) can go several seconds without saying a damn thing. Where's the spirit? Where's the heart? More importantly, what the hell is EA spending its money on? I keep watching NBA Live's flashy intro, the one where McGrady dunks on the Miami Heat, spins around and lifts his arms into the air. I want that experience. I want to feel that energy. But all I get is the crowd murmuring THREEEEEEEEEEEE as someone goes for a long-range bomb. I really like that, but there's a lot more to NBA basketball than just that situation.

The animation is another thing that bugs me. 2K Sports has done a remarkable job capturing the movements of a human being. 2K7's athletes have plenty of quirks, moments that remind me that they're just a collection of polygons, but they exhibit lifelike movements that are just amazing. But in Live, the players have a much more artificial appearance. The majority of their movements are jerky. Furthermore, they can accelerate to the hoop with the speed of a velociraptor. One minute a guy is seven feet from the basket, and the next he dunks. That happens in 2K's games as well, but in Live, the animation is fast-forwarded to such a degree that it's almost impossible to follow. Only the replays reveal the sweet moves that were delivered.

This disgusting lack of fluidity even crept into the jump shots. It's possible to get players to go through one solid motion, but for the most part, everything's herky jerky. If all you play is Live then you may not notice, but these flaws are impossible to miss coming from NBA 2K7. Again...EA's millions of dollars...I don't understand it.

Thankfully, the game's not a complete mess. Last year's Xbox 360 version of Live is just a horrible product. It moves too slowly and it's missing features, but the same cannot be said of Live 07. EA's sped up the gameplay and that really helps the overall flow of ball games. Fast breaks feel somewhat intense, though the sense of speed is nowhere near 2K7's. But I enjoy playing this year's Live. I appreciate how the AI tracks the ball from one player to the next, I like how it always double teams Shaq, and I especially love hot streaks, moments where superstar players can just take over a game, much like McGrady did against San Antonio, where he scored something like 12 points in under a minute. EA still has a lot of work to do (the free throw system is the bastard child of 2K7's and it sucks), but it's crafted a semi mean game of basketball.