WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT NAUGHTY AMERICA: THE GAME, AN ADULTS ONLY MMO THAT PROMOTES TWO DIMENSIONAL SEX. IT CONTAINS... SUGGESTIVE LANGUAGE AND IS THEREFORE SUITED FOR AGES 18 AND UP. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS SUGGESTED.

Most MMOs allow you to kill other people and steal their treasure, but only Safe Escape's Naughty America: The Game lets you bang them in the ass. This controversial and slick looking online adventure lets you create a unique avatar and plunder the caverns of hot chicks or lumpy studs without contracting a nasty sexually transmitted disease, but while it's certainly quite humorous I'm not exactly sure whether it'll take off, or even more importantly, whether graphics whores will drool over its simplistic 2D style.

Unlike other games in this genre, Naughty America has two primary goals, those being to mingle with other socialites and have lots of unprotected sex. You begin by creating your own persona and Safe Escape will provide a decent selection of options. After selecting a gender, you can then modify his or her body type, face, skin tone, hairstyle, shoes, pants, pubic hair (keep it trim, people), and, ahem, "endowments". But if you're not satisfied with it you can always take a trip to the plastic surgeon to enhance your features, visit a tattoo parlor to get some ink, change your clothes on the fly, or stop by the salon and get your hair done. You can even fix up your place, as the game allows you to paint walls, put up wall paper, and bring in additional pieces of furniture.

After creating your online persona you'll want to head out and establish a healthy social life and the game contains three separate districts. There's the Beach, which features a boardwalk, cruise, pools, bars, clubs, and seaside houses, Uptown, which is dotted with a casino, central park, coffee shops, and luxury condos, and finally the seedy Downtown district, a devilishly enticing locale that promises to be extremely dirty and coated with fluids, judging by the sex shops, seedy night clubs, back alleys, and arcades, which are clearly the most erotic hot spots on the planet, what with their sticky coin slots and slippery joysticks.

Since this game is all about "making friends", you have several different types of options at your disposal. If you're on the prowl for some bedroom shenanigans you can zero in on a person and engage them in online chat, a system that functions like AIM and is therefore immediately accessible. If this object of your affection is wooed by your charms you can invite them back to your place, whereupon which you can engage in some hardcore and consensual sex. But at first, and because you're a n00b, the only position you'll know is missionary, and if you're a little kid and reading this article, a missionary is where nice people go to learn about helping others in their community.

When I met with Safe Escape at the Adult Entertainment Expo a couple weeks ago they didn't have a set number of positions. All I know is there's lots of them and in typical RPG fashion you'll gain experience and learn new ones, but you'll acquire these new Kama Sutra moves by sleeping with more experienced people, so basically, after doing something especially nasty with one person your character will learn that move and you'll be able to bust it out at will. Therefore, it really pays to screw as many people as you can in order to achieve Casanova status.

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