When a game connects with you in a way that you don't expect, you have this sense of awe that surrounds you. It's like when Konami's masterpiece Castlevania: Symphony of the Night hit you with its thunderous surprises when you didn't expect them, and gave you an enthralling game experience unlike any game before it. But what if it goes the other way, and so much promise is poured into a game and then when it finally arrives, it leaves you feeling a bit cheated, wondering what could have happened to really shift into such a below-average product. Oh, how Konami has fallen from the glory days.

Nano Breaker follows a similar formula to the company's last Castlevania game for the PlayStation 2, putting you in control of a sword-slashing cyborg named Jake, who is transported to an island to isolate a threat before it grows out of hand. The threat actually lies in the form of a small-produced technology known as nanos, which are being focused on in the middle of nowhere, on an island inhabited with people. Well, you guessed it, the nanos soon form a brain of their own and begin taking over the island, capturing the locals and turning them into unlikable mechanic menaces known as the "orgamechs". The team on hand dispatches Jake to stop the threat before it can leave the island, but soon find that there's more of a threat than just the technology at hand...

Sounds promising, don't it? The opening cut scene shows what the game could have been made of, with explosive detail as to how the orgamechs took over the island and made it their own. Shortly after, the game begins, and you're given a number of attacks to dispatch the threats. You can either take them out with some sword slashes pieced together into combos, or use the occasional jumping and deflecting attacks to beat them. You take on so many before you face a particular boss threat, with a particular pattern to learn to beat them.

It sounds excellent on paper, but the execution here is about as articulate as a drunken mechanic trying to bang up your BMW into shape with a toy mallet. The main problem with the gameplay is that it never really changes. No significant new weapons are introduced, so the combat remains generally the same. Slash, slash, slash, repeat. The bosses show some slick designs, but their patterns are too easy to recognize and soon you leave them in a pile of sticky goo, moving on to the next level. Some of the deflection ideas are nice, but the fighting gets old. Worse yet, some stages require specific jumping to be completed, and the controls aren't tightened to the point that it can get done with precision. This results in, yep, trying again, and again. Repetition rears its ugly head once more.

A noticeable trait about Nano Breaker is that it likes to bleed. Whoo, doggie, does it like to bleed. I don't even think the old Time Killers arcade game bled this much. Okay, to be fair, it's really considered to be "oil" from the orgamechs, despite the fact that it is in fact blood red. But the blood seems to serve no other purpose than for the splatter effect, and it doesn't significantly help the game design. The level design is average at best, and some of the details are murky and not that much alive. I can understand if the island's been overrun, but there still could have been more detail than this. The animation's okay, but can't save the decor.

The game's challenge isn't much either. Like I said, the bosses can only do so much damage before they can be read like an open book, and most of the orgamechs are very little threat, although the showing-up of another rival cyborg does mix things up a little bit (even though I hate the fact you can't face him right away- oh, no, that would be giving the gamer something. Heaven forbid.)

Another thing- what's up with the hero himself? Jake is this guy who's basically set for some kind of execution, but is called upon at the last second to basically save humanity. I don't know if it's just a cruel sense of irony or something like that (like Bill from Contra: Shattered Soldier), but it leaves a hero whom you can't identify with and basically don't care about. Why put drive into someone who just isn't worth driving for? Bah.

As for sound, ugh, forget it. The music seems to fit the game about as comfortably as Anna Nicole Smith trying to fit into Ally McBeal's pantyhose- like, not at all. The techno and piano tunes are just below-average, and fail to add any substance to the game. The sound effects are really generic at best, with only the occasional creature sound to liven up the proceedings. And I shouldn't even get started on the voicework for the characters, as it simply isn't up to par. Some people just fail to show emotions whatsoever- like the guys in the lab who seem to be rather accepting of the fact that their little project has been overrun by uncontrollable technology.

Just every aspect of Nano Breaker screams "below average", really. And all this after Castlevania: Lament of Innocence turned out to be such a good title. This is just a huge disappointment all around, from the lackluster design to the poorly coordinated sound parts to the uninventive gameplay. There's not even anything worth unlocking here- no bonus modes, no way to play as a Belmont, nothing. The only thing you're bound to find yourself breaking is the disc itself, snapping it in half so no one else can experience the letdown. And why waste $40 on that? Do yourself a favor and pre-order the next Castlevania game for PS2 instead. Hopefully that will be a return of the Konami we know.