WARNING: THIS FEATURE CONTAINS DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENT ACTS. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS SUGGESTED.

Violence and videogames go together like strawberries and whipped cream. The two have always worked well together and have formed a timeless bond that's lasted through every single console generation. How the violence is delivered to us has changed because of advanced technology, but by and large, blasting someone's space ship in an ancient Atari game or ripping his or her heart out in Mortal Kombat creates a good amount of satisfaction. It's all about the thrill of competition that drives us and the ability to impose our will upon our opponents. Just like a boxer in the ring, we want to knock our opponent silly.

With that being said, we love some good old fashioned violence. In fact, some of us think that today's games just aren't violent enough. We demand more digital death and destruction, which is why we created this feature, a collection of the top ten deaths that we'd love to see in future videogames. But be warned! This feature is not for the faint of heart, Jack Thompson, the U.S. government, nuns, and Australia.

10. Death by Xbox

Microsoft's original Xbox is a heavy son-of-a-gun that'll do more than give someone a black and blue mark if it falls on their back. The company knows this, which is why the Xbox's manual contains a few instructions on how to avoid getting hit by this massive device.

To date, we haven't heard of any Xbox-related tragedies and thank heavens for that! However, we've often thought about unloading a crate of these suckers onto a videogame character's head.

9. Death by Paper Cut

Ok, so this one's not excessively violent, and we're willing to bet that it would take quite a few paper cuts to actually kill someone, but we're reminded of that scene ("that scene") in Jackass: The Movie, where the guys sit around giving each other paper cuts. It's not necessarily gross, but it's disturbing to the max, so yeah. We want to ruthlessly murder a videogame character with abnormally sharp pieces of paper. And before they croaked we'd totally pour lemon juice on the wounds. Then we'd use the same lemon to flavor a soft drink. A cola, if you will.

8. Death by Garden Shears

Just about everyone living in suburbia has an old pair of rusty shears hanging on a wall in their garage. They're of no use, more a reminder of the old days than an effective gardening tool. However, every time that we see them we're reminded of that scene in Peter Jackson's disgustingly entertaining film Dead Alive, where the dude cuts off that monster's head with the giant pair of scissors. Makes us wonder what that would look like in a videogame environment. Would've been totally wicked in something like Zombies Ate My Neighbors, but we'd much rather go 3D. A little snip here, a little snip there. Snips everywhere! Time to cut that boss character down to size. Literally.

7. Death by Invasive Nostril Attack

Since the dawn of time, man has had this fascination with jamming things up his nose, whether it's his fingers, peas, or sharp objects. But we say to hell with simple nose mining! We want to yank someone's head back and plunge dangerous objects up their nostrils ancient Egyptian style, and we really don't care whether we jab their brains or extract them.

6. Death by Microwave

We're huge fans of the movie Gremlins, particularly the scene where Billy's mom traps one of Stripe's minions inside of the kitchen microwave and watches as it explodes in into a green, gooey mess. It's absolutely disgusting yet at the same time we can't stop rewinding the scene and replaying it.

Normal microwaves aren't big enough to fit a grown person (and we're not down with killing babies), but it's certainly possible to (in a videogame, of course), build a large microwave that can fit one, maybe 50 people. Then we'd set the timer and wait them out.

Did we mention that robots clean the microwave for us?

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