The cows are a mystery to us. Really, they are. You're riding in your car on a road somewhere to another state and you see fleets of them just sitting there in a pasture, chewing cud and watching the world go by. A more frivolous take on their life has been revealed with the animated movie Barnyard, which shows the cows getting into more lively situations, like being part of a nightclub or engaging in boy-tipping, as seen in the trailer. Now, we get to actually live out the life of a cow in the licensed game of the same name, which lets you choose your cow gender and name, and then has you set out on a number of missions so you can rule the farm.

There are questions of logic that come into play with Barnyard right off the bat, so let's go ahead and face them head on. Cows are able to receive cell phone calls over the course of their missions. So, um, how do they keep their cell phone on them? A cow doesn't really manage to wear any clothes, so unless they have a hidden holder of some kind, it doesn't really make sense. Also...the last time I checked, male cows don't really have udders. But here, in the game, you can choose a male cow and still have one at the ready, shooting milk at enemies and marking your territory as you also use milk to churn out butter and cream. Um...yeah.

But never mind logic. The game avoids the typical platformer route that so many movie-licensed games take and instead goes for a free-roaming environment, similar to that of the Grand Theft Auto games. This one's far less violent, though, and features a number of lively types taken from the film, including squawky chickens and a helpful pig that doesn't mind mixing up stuff for you. There's a variety of missions to complete, each one earning you a star rating and helping you become the big cow in charge. You can always revisit these events and missions if you feel that a better score can be reached, and a higher score means more stars get earned.

Along with the main mission games, which are mostly simple, there's also a variety of mini-games to play. There's a fun little golf game where you use an animal as your main club, a sharp billiards simulator with an oddly-shaped table or two, a game where you defend a veggie patch from invading raccoons, and, my personal favorite, a game where you tease a mailman behind his back with a well-timed button sequence. Not all the mini-games are winners here, but the ones that are present are worth uncovering, and half of them are available right from the start, so kids don't have to struggle with finding them all.

The game doesn't look as detailed as the movie did, going instead for a more relaxed appearance. This might throw off those expecting the CG quality of the movie. But at least it's faithful to the film's content, complete with a barn with many areas to explore (you unlock new ones as you progress) and cute little animations on each of the characters. There's also some great lighting and other fun little effects here that don't follow the norm. As for sound, a lot of the movie cast has been replaced by voiceover artists, but they stay true to form with some witty dialogue, and the music is nice and twangy, sort of like sitting in on an old-school rock band.

Why Barnyard ended up with an E10 rating is beyond me. Maybe the question of male udders was left unanswered and a rating was just slapped on there for curiosity's sake. The game isn't really violent by any means, even with the presence of ninja cows. (Yes, ninja cows.) In fact, it's a bit more lively and enjoyable than I would have expected, thanks to a structure that's been paid attention to and a wealthy amount of mini-games to play around with. If you're intrigued by the mystery of cows or you're just looking for a not-so-typical movie-licensed game, Barnyard is worth settling on.

Our Final ScoreOK

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