Media Coverage is on an exotic mini-vacation this week so he has asked us to replay one of last year's E3 columns. Media Coverage writes one - just one - column each week, so one might surmise that he neither needs nor deserves a vacation. But there you go. Anyway, here is a reprint of last year's pre-E3 column. Enjoy.

Those of us in the enthusiast press sometimes take our E3 excitement a little too far. Anyone who's attended E3 has experienced more than a few tragically embarrassing moments involving a fellow journalist.

(This columnist's personal favorite was when an American journalist wearing a rising sun headband boldly and unsuccessfully attempted to question Shigeru Miyamoto using indecipherable and tragically broken Japanese.)

Our favorite way to deal with the discomfort created by these awkward moments is to make things worse. After all, maybe we've just grown too accustomed to some of the stranger aspects of E3 and change may be in order. So as the great philosopher/pastry chef Emeril Lagasse is fond of saying: "Let's kick it up a notch!."

As a public service to an industry full of those who'd enjoy transforming simple embarrassing moments into spectacular ones, we now present seven annoying things you can do to your fellow journalist at E3.

Without question, each year's single most embarrassing moment for the enthusiast press occurs at the Nintendo press conference. Because many videogame journalists began their obsession with videogames on a Nintendo console, the Japanese company enjoys unequalled adoration at E3. Often this goes to extremes.

This phenomenon is painfully evident when you hear the reaction to any big Nintendo announcement.

Zelda for the DS? -- Screams of joy.
Mario for the Revolution? -- Apoplectic delight
Chartreuse Game Boy? -- Hoots aplenty
Metroid Prime 3? -- High level Oprah audience hysteria and loss of consciousness

Don't believe it? Just check out video feeds of past Nintendo press conferences. It's cringe inducing but extremely hilarious.

So, how does one make this moment more awkward? Try booing and booing loudly. No one ever does that.

If that doesn't work, just ask fawning questions in Japanese. Start with: "You are great. How did you get so great?"

Seriously, if you don't ask it, someone else will.

Another uncomfortable sight at E3 is the freebie-laden journalist. It's understandable but hilarious when members of the press walk around loaded to the gills with freebies, gift bags, schwag and free T-shirts.

One highly annoying and possibly illegal way to make this even more awkward is to yoink the least protected stuff and run. With approximately 45 people per square yard on the conference floor, you'd never get caught.

It's all going to end up on Ebay anyway -- either through you or the guy you didn't steal it from. One way or another, SharkFan768 from Des Moines is going to get his Jaws Unleashed inflatable water wings.

Fresh air is hard to come by at E3.

Inside, you're cramped together with thousands of game industry folks who have a higher percentage of non-bathers than any other industry aside from the fish throwing and fish catching industries. (There's also a disturbingly high use of Axe Body Spray - a fragrance that history will no doubt prove is the Old Spice of this millennium.)

Outside, fresh air is even harder to find. At every door and along every exterior walkway, European game journalists line up furiously chain-smoking cigarettes.

Try bumming one -- they'll usually oblige. Don't light it, just stick it in your pocket and walk way briskly. It's like you've taken their baby.

Don't worry though, they can't chase you far with all the wheezing and lung burning.

At E3, you're inevitably going to run across former coworkers, bosses, enemies and even the occasional ex-flame. Small talk is mandatory and often unpleasant.

Thankfully, no matter where you may be on the conference floor, loud music will be playing. If at any point the conversation becomes uncomfortable or if you just get bored, pretend the music is too loud until the other person leaves. For example:

Ex Boss: So, how are you doing these days?
You: Good, I'm writing a media coverage column now.
Ex Boss: Are you still stealing office supplies?
You: What?
Ex Boss: Are you still stealing office supplies?
You: What?
Ex Boss: ARE... YOU... STILL...
You: What? (Point at ear and shake head)
Ex Boss: You're still a sad, pitiful man, aren't you?
You: What?
Ex Boss: One more "what" and I'm going to punch you in the face.
You: Huh?
Ex Boss: I'm out of here.
You: What?

"Psst... Ma'am. I don't mean to alarm you, but I believe that gentleman in the Final Fantasy XIII hat is looking at your boobs."

For print journalists, E3 is a little slice of Heaven. For online journalists, it can be a huge slice of Hell.

Print journalists need only file a couple stories, make some contacts and generally get acclimated to the new slate of games. Online journalists, on the other hand, are required to produce on average 14,375 E3 articles per day.

For them, every second is valuable, which is why stopping one to get reacquainted or tell a long, rambling story is so much fun. Watching an online journo fidget as minutes tick off the clock, provides unmatched entertainment.

They're squirming with good reason:

• 1 Minute Wasted: Next article won't be spell checked
  
• 2 Minutes Wasted: Next two articles will be cut and pasted from a digital press release
  
• 3 Minutes Wasted: Interview with J. Allard missed, quotes to be faked later.
  
• 5 Minutes Wasted: Today's quitting time pushed back to 4AM.
  
• 7 Minutes Wasted: Tomorrow's starting time moved from 5AM to 4AM
  
• 10 Minutes Wasted: Hara-kiri
  

I'll be the one wearing the rising sun headband -- speak loudly I probably won't be able to hear you over all the music.

Let us know if we missed any ways to be annoying at E3.